How it works

Online counselling provides an opportunity to explore a personal difficulty in a confidential  and supportive environment.  This may include expressing feelings that are painful, and which many of us experience at certain times in our lives.  When this happens, it can be difficult to stay positive and cope with everyday life.  Online counselling gives you the opportunity to access counselling support at a time and in a place that is convenient for you.  Talking through your issue in a supportive, non-judgmental environment enables you to gain an insight into your situation, foster growth and can lead to positive change in your life.  Counselling is not giving advice; change comes from within you.

Online counselling may be able to help with a wide range of issues, however not all types of issues can be resolved through online counselling, and I will advise you if face-to-face counselling, or some other type of support may be more suitable.  If this were the case, I would make every effort to refer you to an alternative means of support.

Online counselling is very simple, we will agree an appointment time, this is the time we agree to talk on the telephone or meet using VSee, a safe online platform for therapy.  This would usually be weekly, and for 50 minutes, but this is flexible and depends on what you feel you need.  You do not need to do anything, I will simply email you the day before your appointment, with a link, which you simply click on to open my VSee clinic. you  then wait in the waiting room until your appointment time. This means that only we can enter the meeting and maintain confidentiality as far as technology permits.  Please do not worry about technology, I appreciate this may the first time you have used this method of communicating, and I will help you as much as I can.

Before we first meet, I will email you all of the relevant information you need, and I ask for a few details about you, to ensure our work is ethical and safe, at any point you can change your mind, it really is about you and your welfare.

Some of the issues I can help you with and my approach to helping 

Bereavement 

Bereavement is not always about the death of someone we love, it can relate to any kind of loss. Grief is a feeling we have when something comes to an end, or changes forever. This can be the death of a person in our lives, or a much-loved pet. It can also be when we lose a relationship, this can mean we have lost a sense of how we thought things would be, we lose how the relationship used to be and our hopes and dreams of how the future would look. Everyone’s reaction to loss is individual and having someone to talk to openly and honestly about how they feel can help to come to terms with that loss and readjust life to living with the loss. A bereavement can also raise other issues relating to one’s own identity and purpose, or our own mortality, which are difficult feelings to process and not easy to share. I have worked with several cultural and religious issues around bereavement, often the loss can leave us questioning our beliefs, or particularly in the case of death by suicide, conflict with our beliefs. These are complex issues to work through and it can help to understand why we feel this way.

Grief is very personal, and I am always honoured to walk along side someone who is struggling with a loss.

Anxiety

I believe that anxiety is a natural human reaction to uncertainty. It is designed to keep us safe when we sense danger, it puts us on alert if we feel fear. Anxiety is a problem when our senses are in overdrive, and it prevents us from functioning as we would like to on a daily basis. I use the analogy of a smoke detector. The alarm is programmed to sound if it senses fire or smoke.  A faulty smoke detector may go off even if smoke or fire is not present.  This is how I approach anxiety, the human being’s internal smoke detector, or fear response is so sensitive, it signals the alarm even if there is rationally, nothing to be fearful of. To reset the body’s response to fear and worry involves two factors, to increase tolerance to fear and worry, and to rationalise our irrational thoughts and therefore lower our response to situations. Now, I know I may be simplifying something which can be crippling for anyone suffering acute anxiety, and I am not saying overcoming this is easy, but I do believe with psychoeducation, and understanding how the body and mind works, it can be overcome. After all, we do not want to turn our smoke detector off, we need it to work effectively.

Anger

Anger is a complex emotion, and it is one we all feel at different times. I believe everyone has the right to feel anger and it should be acknowledged, not buried. When anger is a problem, is when the behaviour associated with the anger is causing problems or is out of control, and this may be when you need help. It is important to separate the feeling from the behaviour. I approach anger by exploring what is beneath the anger, as often there are many emotions hidden, for example stress, grief, hurt, embarrassment, guilt, shame or fear. If we can learn to acknowledge what is driving the anger it can help us process it in a more constructive way. It is also important to really identify the true triggers for our anger, as often it is not the event in front of us, but something else. A good example of this is road rage, it is often not actually the driver who has just pulled out in front of us that is the reason for being angry, but the build up of events before that incident. It is my belief that by understanding our anger, it can reduce the need to act upon it.

Relationships

Firstly, I am not a qualified couple’s therapist, and therefore I do not work with couples. If you are looking for a couple’s therapist, I strongly recommend you look for a therapist who has specialist training in couple’s work. I absolutely can work with how an individual feels in a relationship and the issues they face because of a relationship, be it with a partner, child, family member, colleague or friend. My approach to relationship problems is to help to understand the dynamics, communication, meaning and feelings around the relationship. I also believe that we are not able to change someone else, but we can change how we respond, react, and feel around another person. No one ‘makes us feel’, their behaviour results in us feeling a certain way, and we can change that. We can learn how to communicate more effectively within a relationship and own our part in helping the relationship change. Self-awareness is a huge factor in a good relationship, and this is something I can help with.

Trauma

Suffering something traumatic can be very isolating and the physical and emotional effects can be life changing. Trauma can mean we lose the ability to regulate our emotions, meaning we either shut down completely, or are in a constant hyper aware state of readiness to react. It can be debilitating and exhausting. I believe my role is to understand and show compassion, it is important for me, to listen to you as an individual, and take things slowly and ensure you are comfortable and safe with me. Unprocessed trauma can affect us physically, it also affects our behaviours and our relationships. I can work with recognising and acknowledging triggers and our response to those triggers and trying to find ways to regulate our own emotional state in healthy ways. This is especially important if unhealthy coping strategies are being used, for example self-harm, self-medication through drugs or alcohol, or obsessive habits. Working with trauma means trusting me, and I appreciate how difficult that can be, but sharing your experience can help recovery and enable you to move forward.

Fees

• For a 50 minute online counselling session I charge £45
• For a 30 minute telephone counselling session I charge £30